Sick

There is something terrifying about the idea of your child being sick. Maybe it is just post pregnancy hormones, who knows but yesterday was not an easy day for me. It started out in the morning, Davy was playing with some toys and so I went into the kitchen to get some food together for his breakfast. Kevin was sleeping on the couch so I figured that everything would be ok. I came back and thought that Davy looked like he might have something in his mouth so I did a finger swipe through his mouth to check. I thought I felt something but he swallowed it before I could get it, if I did feel anything at all. Shortly thereafter he started acting really tired (which was uncommon for the time of day) and we put him down for his nap. After he woke up from his nap I noticed that he was feeling kind of hot so I took his temperature and discovered that he had a fever. I ended up calling up the doctor and they had me come in right away for an x-ray for the possibility of a swallowed object. After a horrific time at the doctors where he got an x-ray, and had a flu test done to see if he had the flu we found that there was nothing to be seen on the x-ray and he did not have the flu. However the doctor did advise us to keep him away from Evangeline until he was 24 hours without a fever. So my mom took him home with her.

Needless to say yesterday was a very stressful, tear filled day for me. I was worried about my little boy, that he might have swallowed something that could hurt him, that he might have the flu, and worried about my little girl that she might have caught whatever it was that Davy had and would end up with a fever and in the hospital on IVs. Today I have had a few scares with Evangeline because our temporal thermometer (which you use on her forehead) has given me a few high measurements. However when I have double checked with an anal thermometer I have gotten regular readings. I just hate checking her temp anally, but it is the most accurate way and I don't want to take her into the ER without being sure that her temperature is high risk. All in all it has been stressful on me.

Eating and Sleeping

Since bringing our little girl home we have learned something about her, she is a cluster feeder. What is cluster feeding? It is when a baby will want to eat every 1 to 2 hours. So what does this mean? It means that Evangeline starts cluster feeding at about 11 pm and continues to cluster feed till about 9 am. Which means no sleep for Mommy, because every hour Evangeline wakes up and wants more food. Needless to say, my last few days have been a sleepless agony. Most nights I have been averaging about 2 to 4 hours of very awful sleep. Well the other night Kevin hit upon a fantastic way of fixing this. He noticed that Evangeline sleeps better when there is a lot of noise going on around her. And when things are dead quiet she tends to wake up and want food and stuff. So on Christmas Eve I downloaded a white noise app on my phone and played it whenever I put Eva to bed. I ended up getting about 6 hours of sleep this way and felt much more rested the next morning. Which was perfect since it was Christmas. Last night I went to bed early, and then used the white noise app to help me get even more sleep during the night and ended up getting 8 hours of sleep total! Finally I have a morning where I don't feel like a zombie!! Thank goodness for a wonderful husband with awesome ideas!!

The last few days

So much has happened in the last week or so that it seems crazy looking back at it all. I posted last week about our false alarm that took us to the hospital and then back home again. So Monday of this week I went in to have my growth ultrasound and to see my ob. She ended up doing both the ultrasound and the doctor visit. She checked me and determined that I was still at a 3 and had not really made any change. We talked about everything and about giving birth and after doing the ultrasound she determined that the baby was about 6 lbs and maybe 8 oz and her lungs should be fully developed and she should be good to go if she was born this week. And she said that I seemed to be ready to have her, which at that point I was. The false alarm had gotten me to the frame of mind where I was finally ready for her to show up. So my ob said, "Well I am scheduled to be on duty at the hospital tomorrow night so if you can get contractions started and come in I can strip your membranes and that will get things moving and we can deliver you that night. But if you can't get contractions started then come in on Thursday morning and I will strip your membranes and you can deliver that night." I left her office trying to decide what I wanted to do.

On the one hand Kevin and I were planning to go on a date on Wednesday and I was really looking forward to that. We have only had two dates the entire year and I was so excited about having one more before the baby came. However, if I went into labor on Tuesday then I would be guaranteed to have my doctor deliver me, which is what I really wanted. I sent an e-mail to Kevin's mom that night (Monday) updating her on what  was going on and the decision I was trying to make. She sent back a recipe for using castor oil to induce labor. So Tuesday Kevin had a doctor appointment and Davy and I went with him. While waiting for his appointment to be over I checked our bank account on my phone and discovered that we did not have enough money to go on our date. We had been buying things to get ready for the baby (since the false alarm made us realize just how unprepared we really were) and the extra money we were going to use for the date was gone. When I realized that there was no chance of a date I decided that I wanted to try and get contractions going that night rather than wait. So before we left the town Kevin's doctor is in we stopped at a  health goods store and got some castor oil.

When we got home we put Davy down for his nap, I made up the castor oil concoction and after drinking it I started working out on our elliptical. After a few hours I started to feel contractions really get going. Kevin and I had been getting things together in preparation for going to the hospital, and so by the time things really got going we were ready. We finished things up, got things out to the car, got Davy out to the car, took him over to my parents house dropped off him, and his over night bag, filled up on gas, dropped off a redbox video and headed up to the hospital.

When we got there they took us directly into a labor and delivery room and started asking questions, they brought in the doctor who checked me (I had progressed a little) and also stripped my membranes. Then they let me continue naturally. Things moved slowly, as they seem to do with my labors, and Kevin and I relaxed and slept a little, the contractions began to get stronger and eventually I had them attempt an epidural on me. My epidural with Davy failed so I was worried that this one would too. However the anesthesiologist did a really good job and taped me up really well and it worked like a charm. I began to not be able to really feel my contractions and so when they gave me pitocin to speed things up I barely even noticed. I actually fell asleep and was waiting for things to actually start moving. Then around 3 am something changed, the nurse came in because she was seeing something strange with the baby's heart rate. I had an internal monitor on the baby at this point (they attach a monitor to the baby's scalp), but the monitor was not giving them very good readings, so they switched to the external monitor, but that was not great either because the baby moved so much it was difficult to keep a good track of her heart rate. Anyway after some time of watching and trying this monitor or that we came to a conclusion of what was happening. Every time I contracted the baby's heart rate was dropping and when the contraction stopped the heart rate would go back up. They called in the doctor and kept trying different monitors, but it still wasn't giving them consistent readings. Either way the doctor was worried about what was going on. So she had the pitocin stopped. The heart rate still continued to drop during contractions and rise after they were done. She checked me and I was dilated to 6 cm.

At this point she talked to me about it all. She said, "The baby's heart rate keeps dropping during contractions which makes me worried that something is wrong. If you were at an 8 or a 9 we would probably just proceed forward and have you deliver naturally but because you are at a 6 I think we should do an emergency c-section." It was not what I wanted to hear. But the entire time they were talking about the heart rate dropping I knew that a c-section was a strong possibility. I was really scared, scared for myself but more scared for the baby. Kevin could tell because he kept saying "You are going to be ok, it will all be ok." I told the doctor that I really didn't want a c-section but that I was fine with it if the baby was in trouble. So she brought out the consent forms and I signed them and they moved me to the operating room.

I am so thankful that the epidural worked because now that was exactly what I needed for the c-section. I am scared to imagine what that Wednesday morning would have been like if the epidural had failed. They got me prepped and made sure I was completely numb and then they brought Kevin into the room. He stood by my head as they operated on me and took the baby out of me. All I felt was tugging and pulling and pressure, thankfully I did not feel or see anything they were doing. What they discovered was that Evangeline had the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck and her body so every time I contracted it tightened the cord around her neck and her body and was cutting down on the oxygen she was receiving  Once Evangeline was born they had Kevin come over and cut her umbilical cord and he was able to stay with her. They brought her over to me for me to see, she was crying and so I reached out and stroked her face and talked to her, the moment I touched her she calmed down and stopped crying, it was beautiful to see my little girl. As the surgery continued and they put me back together and stitched me up I was finally able to calm myself down and get myself to a point where I was calm enough that I almost fell asleep. Evangeline was born at 4:25 am, she was 6 lbs 1 oz, and was 18 3/4 inches long.

After they were done they took me to a recovery room where I had to wait until a certain amount of time before they would take me to the postpartum room. During that time I slept a little because I was so tired and also drowsily just waited. After a little while Kevin came in with Evangeline and I was able to nurse her for the first time. She took to it like a pro and latched on right away. After nursing for quite awhile she fell asleep and was taken to the nursery to sleep for awhile. Kevin and I were then taken to our own room. We slept most of Wednesday, I nursed Evangeline when she was brought in but mostly we all slept. It took awhile for my pain meds to wear off and for me to get to a point where I needed some more. The incision pain was not too bad at first but got worse over time. Thursday was also not extremely eventful, mostly I was focused on passing gas. At first I wasn't allowed to eat real food until I passed gas, but my doctor came in and vetoed that and soon passing gas was instead what I needed to do before we could leave the hospital. However, I think the castor oil cleaned me out so well that it took forever for me to get any gas out. By Friday I was getting desperate because I was told that I could leave once I passed gas. I began to call it "The fart of freedom" because that is all I needed was one little toot, one fart and I could go home.

We spent Friday walking and rubbing my belly and trying anything we could think of to get me to pass gas. And it wasn't that I didn't have gas, oh I had gas, I could feel it roiling around inside of me. In fact it got to the point where the gas pain was my worst pain. And here is the crazy thing, the gas pain traveled up to my shoulder and gave me shoulder pain to such an extreme that it hurt just to breathe. Finally on Friday night after over an hour's worth of walking I finally passed gas. However, we were not yet free. Earlier in the day Evangeline had gotten the green light to go, however, because of me we were there long enough that they did another vitals check on her in the evening and thought that they had heard an irregularity in her heartbeat. So they ordered an EKG on her and had a pediatrician come and look at it. He said he didn't see anything wrong with her and finally gave us the good to go. We finally got out of the hospital around 11:30 pm and got home around midnight. It feels good to be home finally.

I am currently on many different restrictions. I can't lift anything heavier than 10 lbs for 6 weeks, I can't drive a car for a week, I can't do housework for two weeks. I feel pretty useless, because of my incision I can't bend over to pick things up, I can't move quickly, I have to avoid stairs when possible. It is crazy, but it is so that I can recover correctly. Today has been our first day at home with our entire family and it had been busy but good. I am so thankful for Kevin and for everything he has done to support me through all of this. And I am grateful to my parents for watching both Davy and our dogs while we were in the hospital.

Looking back on it all I sometimes find myself wondering if I was being selfish by inducing myself so early. But then I think back to how wrapped up in the cord Evangeline was and I wonder if I had waited if she would have made it or if something bad could have happened to her. If I had started contracting really bad while at home I would not have had a monitor to tell me that something was wrong. Though I wonder if I should have waited the fact is Evangeline is here healthy and safe and alive and that is the important thing. We are so thrilled and happy with our new little girl.

Awesome Cookie Husband

My Relief Society held a cookie exchange yesterday and because of everything that happened yesterday there was no way that I was able to make it to the cookie exchange. So today Kevin offered to go shopping while I stayed home with the napping Davy and I mentioned to Kevin that I was really craving cookies and would love it if he brought home cookies. Well he brought home so many cookies I now have no idea what to do with them all. I asked for gingerbread and fake girl scout cookies and maybe some take and bake cookies. Well he brought home all of those as well as quite a few others. More cookies than I wanted, more cookies than we need. But all that being said, he is such an awesome guy for it all! I know Mom Sampson reads this blog and let me just say, when it comes to Kevin you did really good in raising a good man. Not just for the fact that he fulfills my food cravings when I am pregnant but also because he is just an awesome husband. Yes, there are times when he can be frustrating, but in the end I know that he loves me dearly, cares about me greatly, and is completely committed in taking care of his family in every way he can. He is an awesome guy!

My heart breaks for them

Today I had a little break in the action of chasing around Davy and so I decided to check facebook and see what was going on. And that is how I learned of the tragic shooting that happened in CT today.

When I had Davy I suddenly discovered that I had obtained a new fear. A fear that something could happen to him and that he could die, especially at his young age, there are so many things that can so easily kill a child. It is scary, you spend the first few years of your child's life watching them so closely because you are terrified that something may happen that will take them out of your life. There have been nights, after Davy goes to sleep where I walk through our living room and see all his toys all over the place and I think, how sad it would be if he died and I had to clean up all the toys with the realization of just how irrelevant they had become. All the memories of him playing with this toy or that toy, his little face turning to smile up at me. And it strikes a deep and very resonant cord in me and usually makes me cry. Usually it is those nights that I have to go in and stare at him for awhile as he sleeps, remind myself that he is just fine and is peacefully sleeping and in the morning will wake happy and alive.

And so it is that fear that makes the shooting today so very real to me. The article I read said that 20 children were killed in this tragedy. And one of the comments made regarding the article mentioned that the families of those children will be going home to decorated houses with presents hidden in closets that no one would open. And it made me think of my thoughts on Davy's toys. Tonight I started to wrap presents. I brought out presents from where I had them hidden in my closet and started to get them ready to wrap. My heart just breaks for those families who lost their children. I can imagine the heartbreak, because I already have imagined it every day since Davy was born. I know little Evangeline is not yet here but I have already started my worry for her. Children are such a wonderful thing in life it makes a parent realize just what a void they would leave in your life if anything happened to them. My heart breaks for the families affected by today's tragedy.

False Alarm

So on Tuesday night, while I was actually typing up my thoughts on my last post, I started to have contractions. I thought that they were coming rather often so I decided to start timing them. So I downloaded a contraction counter app onto my phone and started timing. The app timed how long the contractions were and how many minutes between contractions there were. All very good to know because I was asked those questions when I got to the hospital.

So I called up my parents and Kevin and let them know what was going on with me. Kevin came home from work early and I called my doctor's office and talked to the nurse on call for the night. After talking to me and asking me a bunch of questions she told me that I needed to go in to the hospital. So Kevin and I hurriedly packed stuff and then waited for my parents to come over. Once they got here I waited a little longer to see if the contractions continued, when they did we took off for the hospital. When we got there the  person at the ER desk put me right in a wheelchair and took me straight up to Labor and Delivery. There I was put in a triage room where they checked me and told me I was at 1 1/2 centimeters, they told me they would wait 2 hours and then check me again and if I had changed they would keep me. Well two hours later I was at 3 centimeters. So they took me into a delivery room. They started me on antibiotics since I have Group B Strep and told me that once I had been given all my antibiotics they would check me again. At about 11 am I had gotten all my antibiotics and so they checked me, but this time the person who checked said I felt like a 1 1/2 to a 2. Which was smaller than what I had been, which didn't seem right. So they called in my doctor who checked me and said that I felt like I was at a 3, but that since I hadn't changed much that she was going to have me take a 1 hour walk and if nothing had changed after that then they were going to send me home.

So we went on a one hour walk around the Maternity unit, which I must say was exhausting. My hips hurt so bad after I was done. But I hadn't changed and so I was sent home finally. But my doctor told me that in her estimation I was in early labor and that she would not be surprised if I had the baby within the next few weeks. She said that if I was still pregnant come next Thursday that she would strip my membranes and see if I went. I am hoping I deliver before she goes on vacation. Crossing my fingers.

What is the point?

Just as a note this post does not have a whole ton to do with my pregnancy or about Davy but instead has to do with my views on the LDS Church and their views on gender and families.

Today on Facebook one of my friends posted a link to a news article regarding a Mormon Feminist group "All Enlisted" who is urging LDS Women to wear pants to church this Sunday to protest gender inequality. Here is the link to the article: LDS Women urged to wear pants to protest gender inequality
I would like to quote one of the comments that was made in response to this article "It isn't about the actual clothing, it is about the disenfranchisement and marginalization of women in the church. It is about the fact that the church leaves women out of the highest leadership roles. It is about conference talks regularly attempting to guilt us into having more children and giving up another 18 years to raise that child. It is bringing to light the pain we feel attempting to raise our daughters to be strong, independent women and yet still going to church and having sacrament meeting led by men and blessed and passed by boys 1/3 our age. And all of this begins on Sunday morning with the dress or skirt we put on while our husbands put on a suit and tie."

Truthfully, women like the person who made this comment are really missing the point of the gospel. So what is the point? What is the whole point of coming to this earth anyway? Is it to live our life, fulfill our dreams and do everything we ever imagined we could do? Is it to become equal to each other in every way? Is it to get everything that everyone else has? What is the point of this life?

My answer to these questions has been a good long time in coming. Yes I could have told you the basic answer long ago as a child, but I didn't really understand what it all entailed at that point. I don't know if it has come through struggling for so long to have a family, or from the struggles and trials I have gone through in my life, or from just having children and having that family that I have always wanted, or maybe even from teaching seminary and thus coming closer to Christ and Heavenly Father. However I got to this point I do get it now.

The answer is: The point of coming here to Earth is to gain a body, experience life in such a way that we can grow to become like our Heavenly Parents, and then one day return to them and progress to become like them. The answer really comes down to another question, "What are we anyway?" We are children of God, literally. We are gods in embryo, or maybe rather in childhood. I suppose that our pre-mortal spirit life could be compared to being in an embryonic state and coming here to Earth is now our childhood of sorts. We learn, we grow and we learn how to act and be and the choices we make now will affect our next progressional phase in becoming like God. We are basically toddlers. And like toddlers we seem to be really good at throwing fits when things don't go our way. 

So what does this have to do with pants, women and inequality? Well if we consider the comment above about how it isn't about pants, it is about disenfranchisement, etc, etc, what we get from it really is, "I want to live my life the way I want to live it and I don't like the leaders in this church telling me that I should have children and can't do the stuff that the priesthood holders do. I want to have those special abilities too!" Now imagine it all being said by a toddler that doesn't realize that they can't always get what they want. Yep, it suddenly looks very familiar to a day with Davy. We are children and until we get through our heads that this world, this life and what we achieve in it doesn't really matter we are going to have problems like the lady above. It doesn't matter what callings we hold, it doesn't matter if women never hold the priesthood and it doesn't matter what we wear to church. But one thing that does matter that she mentioned, children. Families. Why is the church so focused on families? On having more children, on "giving up" years of our lives to raise those children? Is it because they want us to give up our dreams and our lives for our children? Well, yes, because that is really part of the whole point. If we are part of a Heavenly family then wouldn't it seem to make sense that learning how to be part of a good and productive family would be part of our earthly training to become like our parents? Family is important, and raising that family right is also important. Important enough that we have been commanded to have children. Some people are not able to do this for one reason or another, and that is part of their struggle in life. And it is a difficult struggle, I know from experience. 

But I do believe that those who do not have the chance to have a family with children in this life will be given the chance after this life. Why? Because I believe that raising a family is an essential part of becoming like God. And that brings us back to gender equality. The genders were never meant to be the same. Men provide for their family different things than women do. And that is important, studies have shown that children develop properly when they have a father and mother in their life. It isn't always possible, but when it is possible it is important to have for children. Trying to make women like men doesn't make things better for children, it doesn't help things. The truth is, though some parts of feminism are good, there are other parts that are just ridiculous and have pushed the whole movement into the ridiculous side of things. This is one of them. Anyway, that is my say on the matter.

Merry Christmas!

Rochelle has a Holiday Walk every December in downtown Rochelle. This year is the first time we learned about it ahead of time and were able to attend it. I would have liked to go to it sooner but I had to pass along the materials from my calling to the person who is now taking it over. That aside my mom and I hit the downtown area and visited a few shops and has some fun. The museum had a little fire in a brazier outside and inside they had Santa. We could take pictures with our own cameras of our children with Santa asking for toys or whatever. So this was Davy's first time meeting Santa, last year I didn't even try. And going by Davy's reaction this year I am kind of glad that I didn't. Davy was interested in the bells that Santa gave him to play with, but was not at all interested in having anything else to do with Santa, which I didn't really push. I figure Davy doesn't need to have bad experiences with Santa. It all resulted in us not getting any pictures, which is fine.

We also visited a few shops which were giving out free cookies and we also hit up the local thrift store which actually takes donations and uses the money that they make to fund a battered women's shelter. They were having a 25% off sale of everything in the store and Davy was able to get a few neat toys (most of them are going into the Church bag) two of which are toys that let him play with letters and numbers. He is in love with those. I also found a bag full of flashcards, but they are different than most flash cards. 1. They are thick cardboard cards that have a picture on one side and the word of what the picture is on the other. 2. They are also in the shape of whatever the picture is. 3. There are some letter cards as well that are in the shape of the letters. Kevin and I made flashcards for Davy but they were misplaced somewhere in our house and we haven't been able to find them yet. Kevin has been wanting to make some more flashcards for him but we haven't (or rather I haven't) gotten around to it yet. Kind of have been busy with getting ready for Christmas and having a baby.

Speaking about the baby, I am beginning to get ready for having the baby. I have written up a detailed babysitting guide for my parents that lists Davy's daily routines and have also put together a concise outline of his routines as well, I included important phone numbers and the feeding instructions for the dogs. I also put together a birth plan for when I deliver. Now I just need to print them all out, and pack bags for myself and for Davy and the dogs. I should probably pack a bag for Kevin as well just because. That way when the time comes we can just grab and go. I still can't believe that we are so close to her coming. By next Friday her lungs will be fully developed and she will be technically full term (37 weeks).

I am pretty much all done with Christmas presents, I just need to finish two of them, ship one of those two and then I will be done. I may drag Kevin up to Rockford tomorrow to get things for the last two presents.

Speaking of Christmas I have been thinking about it a good bit lately. So far this year I have discussed the birth story of Christ twice with my Seminary students. And this year I would like to go through it with Davy as well, I don't think he will really understand but I would like to go over it with him. I find that the older I get the less and less I like the gimmicky Christmas songs, you know, the ones about Frosty and Santa and Rudolph. Instead I love the beautiful songs about the Savior. This year I just seem so much more focused on the Savior at this Christmas time. With Christmas approaching Kevin and I have had more conversations about how we want to do the whole Santa thing.

When I was a child my parents told me at a pretty young age, I can't remember what age that was, that Santa was not real. So I knew, but as a family we still basically played along with the Santa premise. I don't really know how it was done in Kevin's family but I do know that one of his favorite personal traditions was helping his mom fill the Christmas stockings on Christmas Eve. They both suffer from insomnia so it was a great bonding time for him and his mom. Kevin and I have basically decided that we will tell our children that Santa is not really real but he is a fun tradition that we as a family will be doing. (Kind of similar to how my parents did it) I am guessing that we will probably also do it similar to how my parents did it where we will encourage them to "believe" in the Santa tradition even as we reaffirm that Santa is not actually real. I think we will probably go over the Santa story as a nice reminder of how we can serve others while focusing most of the celebration on the nativity story of Christ.

Recently I saw a video of a young child, probably toddler age maybe 3 or 4 who was upset by the fact that the "Christmas Elf" did not bring him the toy he really wanted, the child threw a long and very intense fit over it. I showed the video to Kevin and he said, "If any of our children throw a fit like that over a toy they get for Christmas then they will not be getting whatever it was they really wanted." Basically not wanting to reward the child for the fit they threw. Another way of viewing it is, we want to instill in our children that the gifts they get on Christmas do not come from some omniscient being that knows exactly what they want, the gifts come from real people who are trying their best to get something they think the child might like. The gifts may not be exactly what they wanted, but they should be grateful anyway. It reminds me of Kevin's first Christmas with my family. We were engaged but not married at the time (I think), it was Christmas and we were opening presents from my Grandma and Grandpa who were visiting for Christmas. It was my brother's turn to open his presents from them. He opened them and found Precious Moments Christmas tree ornaments. My brother was 13 years old at the time. Now, I don't know many (if any) 13 year old boys who want Precious Moments anything. But we had instilled into us by our parents the knowledge that we should be grateful for any present we got, especially from our grandparents who were both retired and on a fixed income and were giving us presents from things they could find or afford. So my brother was very thankful and gracious about his presents, so much so that Kevin (who at this point did not know my family very well as this was his second time meeting them) thought that my brother actually had wanted the Precious Moments figurines. It is this that I want to instill in my children, the attitude of gratitude no matter what they are given. I think more people need it, and I hope that my children are able to grow up with it as part of who they are.

Uh oh

Lately Davy has been saying a lot more. For some reason he calls milk "nose" but when he wants milk he will run to the baby gate and say "nose", he will ask for goldfish crackers by pointing to the box and saying "fish", and just today he started saying, "Uh oh, where did it go?" when looking for a toy. What was really funny about this is that he would hide a toy or throw a toy or lose a toy and then walk around saying, "Uh oh, where did it go?" Not only is it super cute but it is one of the longest sentences I have heard him say so far.

Today he threw two sippy cups into our spare room and counted them as he threw them. One, two...smart kid. One of his favorite songs right now is the ABC song. He knows all his letters already but he loves to sing the song with me, and is beginning to get the hang of singing his letters instead of saying them. He also loves a counting song from one of the shows he watches. It is pretty cute.

On the pregnancy front, so far everything has been going well, I just can't believe that December starts soon and that I basically have just a little over a month before my due date. So crazy.

Wishes for Sons

Lucille Clifton wrote a poem called Wishes for Sons, when I was in college I remember reading it and loving it. It basically wishes them the hardships of being a woman.

Pregnancy is a strange thing, when I was pregnant with David I remember wanting a girl. As the oldest child in my family I liked being where I was in the birth order. I liked being a girl and I liked being the oldest. I liked the person it made me. And I wanted to have a daughter who had that too. I wanted a little girl as my first baby. In fact I wanted it so bad that I almost refused to believe the anatomy ultrasound that told us it was a little boy. I had convinced myself so well that I was having a girl that I really didn't want to believe that I actually was having a boy. And then he came.

As I wrote in my last post there is something amazing that happens when you have your children, a type of love that you just can't explain. And it doesn't hurt that Davy is an exceptionally sweet little boy. He is crazy and busy and wild and full of mood swings and life, but with all that comes a certain wonderful sweetness that I never expected. There are times where he will climb onto my lap and snuggle with me for a good long time. Different little things, little actions that he takes that shows me without a doubt that this little boy loves me and is a little sweetheart. And having a child like him makes me nervous about what is to come.

This pregnancy I am pregnant with a little girl. I had a feeling that I was from the very start, but having learned my lesson with Davy I didn't believe it until I had the ultrasound. And ironically I haven't been as excited about it all as I was expecting to be. I mean I wanted a girl, I really did. But there was a part of me that was ok with another boy, a part that actually really wanted another boy, because I knew what to expect. But there is still that part of me that is thrilled that I am having a girl. Someone I can bond with, someone I can become great friends with similar to how I am great friends with my mom. But there is also this huge fear in me that we will have a mother daughter relationship that is filled with arguments and anger. One of the young women in my ward told me that my daughter will hate me when she is a teenager. What a terrible proclamation on my mother daughter relationship before it has even begun. For the most part I have put the comment to the side knowing that it probably stems from the fact that this particular young woman does not get along very well with her own mother. I personally had a fantastic relationship with my mom when I was a teen. She was always a good friend of mine and still is. However, the comment has caused a good amount of fear in me, that my daughter and I may not get along.

When it really comes down to it though I learned a lot about parenting from my own parents. And one of the best things I learned was, no matter what your child does, no matter how irresponsible or stupid or aggravating it is, the most important thing you can do for them is to love them no matter what. There is a lot we can learn from Christ and his father, our Heavenly Father, they love us no matter what. They may not be particularly proud of the choices we make, but they love us still.

Life is a test, a test to see how we will do before we come back to God. And parenthood is a test to see how much we can model ourselves after God and the way he chooses to parent. I am so happy for all the children I have, sons, daughters, however many of either I end up having. And my wish for them, no matter who they are or what they do is that they will be able to feel the love I have for them and know how much I love them, no matter what.

Reflections on being a Mother

Today I watched the movie Brave. Maybe it is because I am pregnant and therefore more emotional, or maybe it is just that being a mother opens those emotional floodgates but there were quite a few times I found myself crying during the movie. Mostly it was due to my feelings as a mother and my feelings for my children.

I have been thinking about motherhood quite a bit lately, and I find it interesting what I have come to as I gather more and more time as a mother. Maybe these thoughts come to me because I have had a good amount of time in life to accept adulthood and my role as an adult. It was somewhere in my early twenties that I finally came to the point where I felt like an adult. It is ironic to me that most people today don't really regard someone as an adult until they reach their 30s or so. It seems almost ridiculous. Especially considering that they assume that people will do stupid things in their 20s and then become responsible in their 30s. Truth is, your teen years are the time for you to be stupid, by the time you leave for college you need to really start making the transition into thinking about the world with an adult frame of mind. Either way, by the time I was in my late 20s I was pretty sure that I felt like an adult, and couldn't really have more growing up to do. And why was it that other adults who had children didn't really treat me as quite equal to them. I had gone through hard things, I had grown substantially, I felt like a responsible adult. Why then did they treat me as if I was lacking some essential component to make me into a full adult. Then I had David and it all clicked into place.

When I was a child and into my teens I viewed the world as a giant puzzle, when things made sense, when things people had talked to me about but really hadn't fully made sense finally came together and clicked I saw it as a puzzle piece finally finding its place in the puzzle and clicking into place. I could almost hear the clicks as it happened. David was one of those puzzle piece moments. Sure it didn't happen all at once, but very shortly after having him I saw exactly why other adults with children still treated Kevin and I as if we weren't quite adults yet. Because we really weren't. We were almost full adults, but not quite.

There is something about parenthood that changes a person. I am sure that it doesn't happen for every person out there, but for the good parents I am pretty sure it does. Suddenly you are given a type of responsibility that you have never had before. Responsibility that doesn't just go away. And day by day that responsibility changes and grows and becomes something different. Everyday is slightly different than the last with new discoveries and challenges. And you have this little person who loves you and learns from you and who you find you love more than anyone you have ever met so far. And that, that is really something.

I was talking with Kevin about it the other day. When you are a child you love your family. You sometimes fight with them and don't agree on everything, but at the end of the day when it really comes down to it you truly love them. Then at some point you grow up and go out into the world and hopefully find someone that you fall in love with. So much in love with that you feel like you have never really known love before. You love them so much that you want to spend your life with them. And you get married and go off to start a family together. And then, hopefully at some point you have children. And with that first child you discover something amazing. That wonderful intense love you feel for your spouse, well it is nothing compared to the love you feel for your child. In fact you have never felt love so intense before, it is astonishing. And that brings me to certain conclusions of motherhood that I have come to.

1. You have to put God first. I had always heard this before, put God first and your family second. But I couldn't really get my head around it completely. Then this year I found myself relying on the Lord for answers to different decisions I have had to make. As I relied more and more on his help I also found myself doing the small things I need to be doing anyway, praying, reading scriptures, going to church. And I have found that I really like where it all takes me. And I realized that to be the kind of mother I want to be I need to make God my first priority. I need to make sure I am doing the things that keep me close to him and his gospel, because there is really no other way I can better prepare myself and my children to live in this world and still keep hold to the gospel. This all being said, putting God first does not mean putting church callings above family. Church comes fourth in this list, but God and your relationship with him comes first.
2. You have to put your spouse second. After God your spouse should come next. Which as you get farther into your marriage becomes difficult, especially if you remember what I mentioned above about your new love for your child being so much more powerful than your love for your spouse. But when it really comes down to it the truth of the matter is that one of the best things you can do for your children is to let them know that you love your spouse. And that when the chips fall you stand by your spouse no matter what. A marriage really is the union of two people into one, and if you don't stand as one then you will soon be divided.
3. You have to put your children third. Though it may be difficult to keep them there this is where they need to be. Third on the list and they need to stay there, you can't let them rise or fall. Remember your family is more important than pretty much anything else in your life. The only thing that comes before family is your own eternal salvation. It is much like on an airplane when they say, "if there is an emergency where you need to use oxygen masks remember to put your own mask on first before helping another person to put on their mask." You can't help to save someone else if you have not saved yourself first. The important thing here is to remember that your children, your family should come before other things. Games, work, life in general. It will all pass and at some point everything will be gone, but your ties to your family will remain forever. No matter what you do in life you will still be tied to your family even if you do disown them.

The best way to go through life then is to make the most of the eternal things. Make the most of your eternal salvation, make the most of your eternal partnership with your spouse, and make the most of your eternal ties to your family. A bit of a rambling from where I started but in the end this is what it all comes back to, the eternal things in life.

On Vacation

Yesterday when I went to my OB appointment I learned from my doctor that she will be going on vacation around the end of the year and will be getting back to work on my due date. My hope is that little Evangeline will stay inside until my doctor is around. There are a few reasons why I would like my own doctor. I know that another doctor would probably be fine, but I would prefer my own.

1. I know that she has my best interests and the baby's best interests in mind. I know she will not try to push me into a C section unless I really need one.
2. If I end up tearing or needing an episiotomy I know she will do a fantastic time stitching me up. She did great last time and I know if I need stitches this time she will do a great job again.
3. I just feel more comfortable with a doctor that I know, having some random doctor that I have never met deliver my baby is going to stress me out a good deal.

There was a part of me that was sort of kind of hoping that Evangeline would get here before the end of the year so that we could get tax write offs. But when it comes down to it I would rather have a safe baby and my own doctor delivering her than a tax write off. Also I wouldn't mind if Evangeline's birthday was a little ways away from Christmas. We will see what happens though. Hopefully everything works out.

Walmart and the Savage Davy

Lately I have been having regular headaches, they seem to be part of the "joy" that comes with this pregnancy. With Davy the "joy" was morning sickness the entire pregnancy. This time around it has been headaches that turn into migraines that send me to the hospital. Anyway, I have good high dose pain pills for the migraines, but I tend not to use them because they aren't the best for the baby. My doctor prescribed them and recommended using them once a week if possible. So instead when I get a headache I can tell is going the way of a migraine I drink some caffeinated soda take a regular strength Tylenol and hope that it works. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't.

Today my slight headache turned into a full blown migraine after taking Davy to Walmart to pick up food for dinner. Lately when we go to Walmart Daddy lets him push the cart because Davy hates sitting in the cart. Well tonight it was just Mommy and Davy and the Walmart, and getting some of the stuff while having him trying to push the cart was too much so I put him in the cart for the first part, and he screamed, so finally to calm him down a bit I let him push the cart. Which helped for a bit until we had to get things and I had to stop the cart and he screamed. He pretty much screamed almost the entire time we were there because I wouldn't let him push the shopping cart as much or as fast as he wanted to and when he screamed too much about that I picked him up and he screamed some more. We ate dinner over at Kevin's work with him and had family dinner at the data center, which also helped to calm the savage Davy. Davy loves to go see Daddy at his work. He wasn't too happy to leave though, but he finally quieted down on the way home and began counting after awhile. Once we got home he calmed down and bed time was super easy compared to Walmart. Don't know how often we will be going to Walmart without Daddy.

Nesting

Recently Kevin made the remark that he thinks that I blame too many things on my pregnancy. I blame forgetting things, misplacing things, driving badly, being too hot, being lazy, wanting to eat certain things, not wanting to eat other things, pretty much all pain in my body, headaches, being tired, the list can go on and on. He may be correct that I do blame a lot of things on pregnancy, but the truth of the matter is in someway my pregnancy affects almost everything I do. It makes me stupid at times, especially when it comes to remembering things. For some reason it has an affect on my driving skills, I am less observant and have gotten into some close encounters. Heck it even affects my typing skills, often I will find my fingers typing letters I wasn't even wanting to type, and my spelling skills have taken a woeful turn. Thank goodness I generally read things through once or twice before I post them.

Anyway recently we cleaned the house (as well as we could) in preparation for the missionaries coming over for dinner. It was the sister missionaries and when they discovered that I couldn't get a lot of stuff done because it tended to make me go into contractions they put a load of dishes into our dishwasher for us and started it up. Anyway, between Kevin and me and with some help with the dishes from the sisters we got our house into decent shape. Except of course for our spare room and our bedroom. And unfortunately Davy's room is beginning to fill with toys he has gotten out. Wanting to keep our house as clean as I could, and partially because I am really getting tired of Kevin's comments that our house is always a disaster, I have been trying to keep our kitchen (which is the source of most of the disaster comments) as tidy as I can. Which has led recently to me doing a good amount of dishes. The other day I ended up doing some dishes and as I was talking to Kevin about it I mentioned that I could probably blame my sudden urge to clean on my pregnancy as well. He asked me how I could do that, "Nesting, an inexplicable urge to clean, or sort, or craft."

Moving on to today I find at the end of it that I have had quite a day of nesting. I started off the day coming up with a list of Christmas words (only related to Christ's birth) for the alphabet. I want to make an advent calendar of sorts that uses each letter of the alphabet. I can start it on the last day of November and each day go through a new word/letter and discuss it with Davy. Not only will it tie in two things that he loves letters and numbers (which I will have on the back of each card) but it will help us discuss the birth of Christ as we come closer and closer to Christmas. Then I got Davy and fed him and got him doing his normal morning toddler stuff. Then I worked on ideas for Christmas presents for people. Davy went down for a nap and Kevin was watching a mixed martial arts fight so I went to Walmart and got some things for making some of the presents. Then I made lunch, worked on a fabric book I have been wanting to finish for Davy and finally shortly after Kevin left for work I finished it. I sat Davy down with one of his favorite shows and made supper and emptied the dishwasher, then I began to fill it again. By then dinner was done cooking and we had supper. After supper Davy went back to playing and I finished filling the dishwasher and started it up, then I gathered a load of whites and put them in the washer and started it up. Then I washed all the dishes that I can't wash in the dishwasher, all the knives, cutting boards, cookie sheets, etc. By then it was almost time for Davy to go to bed. He had been watching some of his shows and wanted to watch one more before bedtime. So I started on making a thread catcher while he was watching it (because all the little thread pieces from my different projects are beginning to drive me crazy), by the time the show was over I was almost finished with the thread catcher. I put Davy to bed and then finished the thread catcher. And now I am pretty much ready for bed. If I have more days like this soon the entire house will be clean. Or at least one can hope.

Fire = Hot

Today Davy learned that the fire on the stove is hot. We were over visiting my parents tonight, planning on carving pumpkins. My mom was making soup and Davy was wandering around their kitchen being cute. I had been keeping an eye on him to make sure that if he got too close to the stove that I could yell at him to get away from it. Well, as accidents with kids seem to happen, Davy just walked up and stuck his hand in the fire. My mom was thankfully standing right there and pulled his hand out right away. We immediately filled a sink with cold water and ice cubes and let him play in it for about 15 minutes and then after a 5 minute break let him go back in and play another 15 minutes or so in the cold water again. He has little blisters on his fingers, and I gave him some children's Tylenol. He was a little fussy over his hands tonight, but otherwise played like normal and was his normal self. I ended up calling his doctor to make sure that I didn't need to bring him in, but after talking with the nurse about how it looked and how he was acting, she said he should be fine being treated at home and gave me some advice on how to take care of him. It broke my heart seeing him cry when he first got burned, but I am glad that he should be ok. And I am hoping that it taught him that we don't stick our hands into fire because fire is hot and can burn us. I just wish he had learned about fire without the need to get hurt.

On a lighter note, we bought Scout for Davy today. Kevin has been wanting to get him the "boy" dog since I brought Violet home from my parent's house. Finally we have him, there are some differences from Violet, as the Violet we have is an older version of the toy. But all in all, Scout is basically the same toy as Violet. I put them both on the couch to see which one Davy would go for, turns out he likes having both dogs with him. Maybe he feels like he is in the videos he watches and has both his friends to come play with him. I have them programmed so that Violet calls Davy "David" and Scout calls him "Davy". The only thing I have noticed so far is that Violet's paws are easier to push, and Scout's are more difficult. Oh well, maybe they will get easier over time.

Hormones and Food

This week I have been craving tortilla chips and cheese dip, but we currently can't afford to get some until payday, which is Friday (tomorrow). So imagine my happiness when I discovered that chips and cheese dip were part of the party my parents threw for the grandkids yesterday. After everything was over my mom and dad tried to pawn off a lot of the food on both my sister and I. Kevin and I were the last ones to leave so whatever was left was basically given to us. As we were gathering up stuff, I said, "Hey, if you don't want it we will take the chips and cheese dip as well." I kind of felt guilty for asking for it, but they gave it to me so I ended up taking it home too. This morning close to 11 am I started getting hungry and remembered the cheese dip that was in the fridge. So I heated some up and started eating it with the tortilla chips. After not long of eating the chips and dip Kevin came by and started eyeing the chips and dip in a way that I knew he was going to ask for some.

But the problem was, I didn't want to share. I had been craving this all week long and had an awesome windfall before payday even came around, and there wasn't much of the cheese dip anyway. But I knew that claiming it all would be rude, so I told him he could have the rest if he wanted it. Well then as he went to get it he found some other cheese dip that we had in the fridge that I did not want to eat because I did not like the flavor of it. So he decides that he is going to mix the two and eat it.

Thinking back on it all the rational thing for me to have done would have been to ask nicely if he would let me have the cheese dip I had gotten from my parents and he could have all of the other cheese dip (which I knew he preferred). Instead I went into attack mode. And we got into an argument over it all. In the end he demanded that I ask nicely for the cheese dip I wanted, and I stubbornly refused to. Finally I calmed down enough to apologize for attacking him and he gave me the cheese dip, which helped me to calm down the rest of the way. After everything was done and finished and I was calm and happy again I said to him, "You know, arguing with a pregnant woman over her food is like wrestling with a tiger for a steak, it is about the same level on the danger scale." He thought about this for a little bit and then said, "Yes, but a pregnant woman is not going to kill you like a tiger would." "She might in your sleep." I said back. "No, I know how weak you are right now, you wouldn't be able to kill me." "Ok, true." I said, "But she can make your life miserable, which is almost as bad." "Yes, that is true." He said, "Which is why so many men are made miserable by their wives."

Thankfully Kevin is a great guy and awesome husband, and knows when it is best to just give me the food and save himself the suffering.

Halloween

Today was Halloween! And Davy had a full day. It started around noon, we went over to Nana and Grandpa's house where we met up with Davy's cousin's Sydney and Payton. We had a Halloween themed lunch with bat wings and goblin snot (tortilla chips and guac), sloppy joes (I can't remember what my parent's called them) and lots of cute treats. Then Nana played some Halloween games with Davy and Sydney, Payton watched but was too young to participate yet (next year), she told them a story where they had to feel things in buckets during parts of the story, and had them play pumpkin buckets (like bozo buckets but with pumpkins). Then we all went down town and trick or treated at the local businesses and at the nursing home. After that we went back to Nana and Grandpa's and had a Halloween themed dinner, with Ogre toes (fingerling potatos), Witches Brew (punch), Zombie fingers (cocktail sausages in sauce), and Halloweenies (hot dogs rolled up into croissants to look like mummies). After dinner we all went trick or treating around the neighborhood. Davy ran with Daddy from door to door and was able to hit quite a few houses that way. Halfway through he ran out of gas, and thankfully Mommy brought a stroller so he relaxed in the stroller while Mommy and Daddy took him to the remaining houses on our route. We put him to bed an hour early and he pretty much fell right to sleep without a peep. Below are some pictures of him in his fox costume, and a picture of me in the pregnant skeleton costume I made for myself.

Word Count

This morning Kevin asked me, "How many words does Davy know now?" So I did a count. Counting the original 10 words I mentioned before as well as the new words he has picked up which come to a total of 18 (this is including the numbers he knows), then if we include the letters as words (because they are) we come to a rough total of 54 words. I am sure there are some I have missed, but that is pretty good. Especially since it was back in August that he only knew 10 words. This is the time during which he will begin to add words quickly and it is amazing to see how many he adds to his vocabulary daily. It is exciting watching my little boy grow up, even though at times I would like him to slow down just a bit.

Reading

As I have mentioned before I have had a goal of teaching my children to read by/during the age of 2. As I have been mentioning lately Davy has been blowing my mind with how fast he has learned his letters and how good he is doing with it all. Well today we passed another milestone. Lately when we are going to bed Davy and I have a part of the routine that I do to avoid a tantrum. Davy LOVES water, he loves brushing his teeth because he gets to play with water, so when tooth brushing is done he generally throws a fit, to diffuse this tantrum I have him help me turn the light off. Lately he has been saying On when we get to the switch (which has a tiny "on" written on the switch) and he says Off when he points to the fan switch that has a tiny "off" written on it when in the off position. So today, on a whim, I had Kevin write the words "On" and "Off" on Davy's magnadoodle and sure enough Davy said on when he saw the word on and off when he saw the word off. Now keep in mind that these are not words we have been practicing with him, we have practiced "Wow" and "Mom" and "Yay" and "Yeah" but not On or Off, and yet these are the first words he has learned to read. Though it is only two words now it still marks a milestone, Davy has learned to read at 21 months, a full three months before turning two.

It is kind of crazy to me, my mom (who I tend to think of as a SuperMom) got me reading at age 2, and here Kevin and I have beat that with helping Davy learn to read when he was still 1 year old. Craziness, pure craziness!!

Violet

Leap Frog videos are the shows that have taken over the well worn spot from Go Diego Go as Davy's favorite shows. Leap Frog videos are educational videos that the company Leap Frog has put out for kids. Davy's favorite one is Phonics Farm, but he also likes many of the others. Though I try to cut down on how much TV he watches each day I don't mind the fact that he has been learning good stuff from these shows. Phonics Farm for example goes through the ABCs and what sounds they make. I do think that Davy has learned most of his letters from us, but I also will agree to the fact that he has probably had them solidified in his head due to Phonics Farm. And Numbers Ahoy has been helping him pick up his numbers as well. He doesn't know his letters or number in order yet, but he now knows all his letters as well as 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8 and 9. We are still working on 1, 7 and 10.

Anyway, one of the characters from Phonics Farm is a purple dog named Violet. My parents just happened to have a Violet stuffed animal that they had found at a thrift store. With her batteries in Violet sings, and interacts with Davy, plus by downloading a simple program and plugging Violet into the computer I was able to get her to say Davy's name (David). We brought Violet home tonight with us after visiting my parents and Davy took her to all his favorite toys and showed her the numbers and letters on them (his favorite things right now). When it came time for bed he took Violet with him to brush his teeth and then, ended up playing with the water for only a short amount of time before leaving the bathroom on his own to find Violet (this has never happened before, he LOVES the water). Then when it came time for bed he played with Violet during his diaper change and was not interested in reading a book. I put him to bed with a star and with Violet, sang him his song, turned off the light and closed the door and didn't hear a peep from him. Wow! I know eventually Violet will get old and the new fun of her will wear off, but for now it has been pretty fun to watch Davy with her.

Glucose and Nightmares

I finally got back the results for my 3 hour glucose test. And I passed it!! I have been a good bit nervous about it this pregnancy that I would not pass it and that I would have gestational diabetes, but the results came back normal. I was a worried after I didn't pass my 1 hour test. Thankfully this means that I can eat pie this Thanksgiving, which I have been looking forward to for quite a few weeks now. Yay for pie!!

On another note, Davy seems to be having nightmares lately. Last night he woke up screaming and started crying. Kevin went in and rocked him for a bit and then changed his diaper which brought on another crying fit. So I went in and rocked him for a little bit and then put him to bed. While we were rocking the dogs came in to say Hi, which Davy seemed to like as he kind of roused himself and petted both dogs. Thankfully after I put him back in his bed he pretty much went back to sleep after babbling to himself for a little bit.

Letters and Words

So I know we have entered the time where Davy's word list starts to grow drastically. But it still surprises me  at how fast he is learning things. He now knows the majority of his letters.
Letters he knows: A B C D E F H I K L M N O P Q R S T U W X Z
Letters he still has trouble with: G J V Y
Four letters, that is really saying something! I am SO blown away by how fast Davy has learned his letters, every day it seems like letters that were difficult for him he suddenly knows. And he is learning lowercase as well. And numbers are next, he already knows 2 and 9. He is learning names for things and picking up new words every day. Today he said turtle, as well as other things. We went and visited my sister and her family to celebrate her husband's birthday. While we were there Davy's cousin Sydney was telling Davy to say stuff and he was responding to her. I don't know that he said everything she said to say, but he was saying stuff nonetheless.

He now says Sun (pronounced Nun), Star, Nose, Doggy, as well as many others that I can't keep track of at this point. It doesn't seem like all that long ago that he only knew about 12 words and now he knows a bunch. I am excited to see what he learns next and to see how fast he learns everything. I will admit that I did have a goal of teaching him to read before age three, I never thought though that he would know almost all his letters before he even turned two. Though I do work with him quite a bit on his letters I will admit that a good part of where he has learned most of what he knows is from Kevin. Kevin works with him quite a lot and has been a big driving force behind many of the letters that he has been struggling with. I still remember, Davy didn't even know B and then one day there he was saying "Buh, buh B" and I knew it was all Kevin's doing. It is great having a husband who works with me to teach our son things.

Parenting choices

When you get pregnant for the first time you suddenly become aware of a whole new set of conversation topics that are hot topics and points for debate among the members of society who have children. These topics all center around parenting and how people choose to parent. Should I circumcise my son? Should I give him a pacifier? Should I use breastmilk or formula? Should I let him sleep in my bed or in a bassinet or crib? Cloth diapers or disposable? How long should he keep his pacifier/bottle? The list of parenting choices goes on and on, and the debates on what is the right choice are usually quite heated. Truth of the matter is, do whatever you feel is best for your child. And for you for that matter.

We made different decisions on parenting after much discussion, or after a good deal of research on my side of things. But some things I attribute to dumb luck. Like co-sleeping, letting Davy sleep in our bed with us was never really an option. Why? Because the dogs sleep with us and they tend to get in our way and mess up our backs at night and I had no doubt that they might accidentally hurt the baby if we had the baby in bed with us. So no baby in bed with us. Which turned out perfect for us because now when I hear about other people who can't figure out how to get their toddler to sleep in their own bed I am happy that Davy never got into the habit of sleeping with Mommy and Daddy. And bedtimes are pretty much perfect now.

Another thing is bottles and pacifiers. We let Davy have bottles and pacifiers, but we never let him have a bottle at night, mostly because I had fear of SIDS from it. Well now when I hear about other parents who can't figure out how to get their toddler to give up the night time bottle I am glad we never started that tradition. And pacifiers, like I said we let Davy have pacifiers, he took them to bed with him too. But around 14 - 16 months we lost his pacifier, he did pretty well without it and once we found the paci again we just started to phase it out. We took the paci from an all the time thing to a night time thing, and then we just kind of got rid of it all together. Now when he sees a pacifier he doesn't think of it as something he needs. He even knows that pacifiers go to babies and when he finds one with a baby around he will give it to the baby.

Did we intend to make choices that would work best for us in those regards? Not really, we were first time parents with no knowledge of how everything would work out for us. But I am pretty glad that some of our choices worked out so good for us. Not that the choices of others aren't the best choices for them, but for us our choices have worked pretty good so far.

The chopping of nails

I am blessed, I guess you could say, with the natural ability to grow my nails rather long and rather quickly. While this is useful for many things, not the least making my short fingers look a little better, it can get annoying quickly. Today I ran into one of those things.

We went to the mall today after my 3 hour glucose test, which I hope I pass, we met up with my parents for lunch before we had to head home. My mom and I chased Davy around, which was rather fun at times. However during his escapades I reached for him and caught a nail on his clothes right as he was running away. Needless to say my nail snagged and broke, to the point that it ripped into my cuticle a bit and caused me to bleed. Yes it hurt. And it brought to my attention the fact that my nails needed to be chopped again. Usually I wait until they are uncomfortable when typing and then I chop them, but nails getting caught and broken tends to lead to chopping as well.

So tonight I got some nail clippers and my file and cut my nails short again. Then after cutting them all I decided that I should make a night of it and chop Davy's nails too. Anyone who has ever had a small child in their house knows just how fast children's nails grow. Well his nails were getting to the point that they were almost talon like, and he was beginning to scratch things, like me. So I chased him down with his own nail clippers and chopped his nails too. Nail chopping with Davy is much like nail chopping with Ronan, a wrestling match with a being that does not want their nails cut. Although Davy is much smaller, weaker and does less damage to me than Ronan does when cutting nails. After all his nails were cut, Davy did his usual after nail cutting ritual, he took the nail clippers from me and played with them for awhile. One would think that if he hated his nails being cut so much that he would want nothing to do with the clippers, but no, he loves playing with them. Which I don't blame him for, I remember playing with nail clippers as a child on a regular basis. What I find to be amusing about the whole thing, was that after he had the nail clippers he then pretended to clip his toe nails with it. Another nail trimming he hates.

When I brought out the nail file he was a bit more interested. At first he wasn't sure what I wanted to do with his fingers again, but once I showed him how the file worked he thought it was great! He played with it a good bit, but also let Mommy use it every so often so that I was able to finish my nails too. Fun stuff!

Costume time!

So this year I have been wracking my brain as to what to make for Davy's Halloween costume. Last year as some may remember he was a Viking, complete with horned hat and beard. This year I was really trying to figure out what to make him. At first I thought maybe a jaguar, since he likes Diego, but my plan was to make it out of a sweat suit, but I couldn't find any sweat suits in his size that were the color I needed. So I thought that maybe I could make him a dinosaur costume out of a sweat suit, because surely I could find a green sweat suit. Nope, that was a no go too. As I was looking around the internet for some ideas, I came across a cute pattern for making a fox costume. Though I am an amateur sewer at best, having just started sewing last year I thought that this might be a hefty undertaking for me. But I was able to get it done, in just three days and less than what it would have cost to buy a pre-made costume for him. Here are some pictures of the cuteness that is a Davy fox.

Wow, stars!!

Today Kevin and I put a few constellations out of glow in the dark stars on Davy's ceiling. we put up the Big Dipper and Orion, we also put the North Star and Sirius on the ceiling as well. As we worked on it we let Davy play with one of the big stars, it is the size of half of his face so there is no fear of choking. While we worked on the ceiling Davy brought me his "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" book for me to read to him and his glow in the dark star. It was fun having him point out the stars in the book and show me the star in his hand. After we were done with the ceiling we put him down for a nap, and he did not want to give up the star. We finally had to trade it for one of the stacking stars from his stacking toy.

So fast forward to tonight. I knew he would be up late because he napped from 1 pm to 5 pm this afternoon, which spelled out "Davy will not fall asleep until after 11 pm tonight." for me. So about 10:30 pm I get him ready for bed and put him to bed. He chose the Twinkle book again to read tonight and pointed at Orion during bedtime story time, stating for me, "Star!" After getting him tucked in with a song of "I am like a star shining brightly." I gave him his stacking star, which he seemed to prefer over his current sleep toy, Twigs his giraffe, and then turned out the lights and said goodnight.

Things seemed to be going well at first, he was quiet, didn't cry when I closed the door. I figured I was home free. I did some work on the computer for awhile (I teach seminary in the morning and use the time after he goes to sleep to prepare for each day), and then suddenly I heard what sounded to be him crying loudly in his room. So I rushed over to his door and as I listened I realized it didn't quite sound like crying. So I put my ear to the door and listened closer. Imagine my confusion when I realized that I wasn't hearing crying, I was hearing him cheering. "Yay! Wow! Yay! Yay! Yay!" Was the words I was hearing coming from the door. What was the cause of the cheering, I will probably never know, but secretly I think it was the stars. They did look pretty awesome glowing there when I turned off the lights. Davy is seriously such a cute kid!

When the toddler is quiet

It is common knowledge among parents, when the child goes quiet start to worry and check on them, because you never know what kind of trouble they are getting into. So today after talking with Kevin about how cute it was that Davy was saying star last night, Kevin pulled the glow in the dark star kits that we bought for Davy quite awhile ago out of Davy's closet. Before I knew what he was doing he had the thing open and was trying to find the adhesive among the pile of stars. Problem was that there were stars falling out of the package as well. The stars in the package range in size from about the size of my palm to a little smaller than a dime, and everywhere in between. So I got a plastic zip-lock baggie and put all the stars into it. Or so I thought. So tonight I am checking out things online and hear Davy happily chattering away as he plays with his play house toy, and then he goes silent, and I know he has found something I probably don't want him playing with. I go back to where he is and find him putting something he can easily hide in his pinched thumb and forefinger through the window of his play house. Thankfully he drops whatever it is on the other side and I am able to find them before he picks them up again. Two little stars, both the size of coins. They must have spilled out when Kevin opened the package and I must not have seen them. Both stars went into the baggie with the others. I think when we put the stars up on the ceiling we will be using stars that are not swallowable. At least until Davy and any other children we have are old enough not to swallow things.

On another star note, I affixed one of the biggest stars to Davy's ceiling today and during a diaper change he noticed it. He started the changing session by squirming onto his belly and pointing out the vowels in the warning label that is on his changing table, first time he did that for me. Then I wrestled him onto his back, which he resisted as he usually does. But then something awesome happened, he noticed the star I had put on the ceiling and pointed to it saying, "Star, star!" It was great! He went from squirrely to focused in quick succession, and I was able to change his diaper with little fuss and a constant chant of "Star, star, star!" Now I want to put the big dipper above his changing table if only to keep him busy during changings.

Twinkle Twinkle

Every night, right before we put him to bed, I read Davy a book. Lately he has really begun to like the books that sing a song. We currently have "The Itsy Bitsy Spider", "The Bear Went Over the Mountain", "Baa Baa Black Sheep" and "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". Last night he chose to read "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". I took a different tactic than usual and began pointing out the stars since we have been practicing the word "Star" with him. He has a stacking toy that is made up of stars and we say "Star" every time he gives us one of the stars. So while we were reading the book we were pointing out the stars, each page I would say, "There is the star." We finally got to the last page and I said to him, "That's the star" and he repeated to me in his garbled toddler tongue, "That's the star". It was awesome! It is the longest sentence I have heard him say so far. Sure it was difficult to understand, but I did hear him say the words. It is so exciting that he is trying to say more words.

Doors

Today while finding clothes for Davy he went into his closet to play with some of the toys we have stashed in there, then he closed the door, at first I thought I would have to open the door for him, but instead he opened the door on his own. I hoped it was a fluke, but after he did it two more times I am at the realization that my son now knows how to open doors! Why did he have to figure that out so soon!! 

I seem to remember feeling this way when he learned to climb on things, and learned to climb over things. He is such a clever boy, but sometimes I wish he wasn't growing up so fast and learning things I am not quite ready for him to learn yet. We will have to buy some more baby proof door devices, so that he can't get into the rooms we don't want him in.

Naps, letters and bedtime

Let's start with the biggest issue at hand here. Sleep. You don't really realize just how precious it is until you become an adult and start to get less of it than you would like. You really don't get it though until you have your own child to disrupt your sleep schedule. Lately I have been taking the age old advice of, "Sleep when your child sleeps." Well the best time for that sleep is right after Kevin leaves for work, which is around 3 pm-ish, but this means keeping Davy awake until that time. And it also means that he will often sleep until about 5 or 6 pm. And that can be a problem. Though it is wonderful to get a good long nap in, it also can mean that when it is bedtime Davy does not want to go to bed. And this can take his usual 9:30 pm bedtime and lengthen it to 11 pm or even Midnight. Ugh... Not the time that I want to go to bed, especially when I am waking up at 5 am the next morning to teach seminary. And here is the big kicker, I don't usually get a chance to work on my lesson for the next day until AFTER Davy goes to sleep. Yep, can we say no sleep for the Rachel? So today I put him down for his nap at 1 pm and he only stayed asleep until 2 pm. Which is a much shorter nap than I wanted for him, but when I put him down for bedtime at 9:30 tonight, he went right to sleep. Much better, but shorter nap time for me. Boo, but better than no nap at all.

Moving onto the next topic, letters. Davy has a little magnadoodle that he plays with and loves to have us draw on. Lately we have been writing letters on it, and have been practicing them with him. At this point he knows almost all the vowels by sight. He really likes O, and is pretty good at getting A, and he is beginning to love U because he likes to say "ueueueueueue" (it sounds like youee). Super cute! He is pretty good with I, but still struggles with E. We have been working with some of the consonants as well, but have been hitting the vowels pretty heavily because they are some of the easiest letters for him to say. Yay! Now we just need to work on his body parts with just as much enthusiasm. He knows where his bellybutton is, and his nose. But the other parts he has not really gotten down yet. We will get there.

Slides and Labor Day

Lately Davy has discovered slides. Previously every visit to the playground was filled with Davy playing with whatever was being used as the ground, this meant wood chips, small pebbles, strange chopped astro-turf, anything that was ground material was what he was interested in. But this summer he discovered the playground equipment, in particular the slides. At first he needed help, one of us would carry him, or lift him up to the other parent who would wait at the top of the slide to help him slide down, meanwhile the other parent would hurry back down to the bottom of the slide to catch him and start the process over again. But lately Davy has figured out how to climb up the playground equipment on his own. This has led to much more fun and a much more tired little boy. It also means that Mommy or Daddy can take Davy to the park on their own without having to have the other parent with them because Davy will do the leg work on his own.

This brings me to Labor Day. Labor day we decided to go apple picking as a family. So we met up with my parents and my sister and her family (Jake, Sydney and Payton) at a local apple orchard. I had suggested that orchard because they had a children's area and I figured it might be fun for the kids to play in. We went apple picking and then I purchased an entrance ticket to the kids area, figuring that Sydney and one of her parents would want to go into the area as well. I didn't realize that was not the case until it was too late. So I took Davy in anyway and we had some fun in there together.

The first place we went to was this corn silo which was basically like a sandbox with corn instead of sand. He liked playing with the corn and helped another little boy fill a toy truck bed with corn. Then he discovered a slide in the corn silo and decided to start going down it. At first he had some trouble navigating the steps on his own, but eventually he got the hang of it. About that time I noticed a large wolf spider that was on the slide. It was right near where Davy was placing his hand when he was climbing up the slide. So I started throwing corn at it to knock it down. I got the spider off the slide and chased it over to the wall of the silo. Then I switched my attention back to Davy, glancing at the spider every so often. Well during one of my glances I noticed the spider was no longer there. So I put it out of my mind, until I saw it on the slide again. But now it was worse, it was no longer trying to hide on the side, it was trying to climb up the main part of the slide. So at this point I kind of started freaking out, which gathered the attention of the other mothers in the silo, which I am sure thought I was kind of crazy or something (from the looks they gave me) because I was freaking out over this spider. One of them pretty much got the spider off the slide and chased it somewhere else. At this point I decided that Davy and I needed to go somewhere else. Because I really didn't want to stay in there anymore if the spider decided to come back.

So we went over to the petting zoo area. At first we walked around it, and Davy waved to all the animals, then I decided to take us in. Davy wasn't really sure about touching any of the animals. So I picked him up and let him watch me pet some of the animals. This gave him some courage. So together we petted a calf, a donkey, a llama, a sheep, and I think a goat. He was fine with petting the animals as long as they didn't try to get their face in his face. I think the calf reminded him a bit of a dog. About the time we got out of there I saw Kevin and found out that everyone else had moved inside and was talking about leaving. So I figured that I should probably just bail on the idea of doing any more in the children's area.

After the apple orchard we went to a park in DeKalb and ate a picnic lunch, after lunch Davy and Sydney went to a playground that was at the park and played a bit, they didn't end up playing for long because it was hot and the grownups were getting way too hot (and I think the kids were too). We went home after that and all three of us ended up napping for a very long time. All in all it was a great day!

Holy Crazy Tantrum

Davy just threw a crazy tantrum. It all started when Kevin left for work. I told Davy to tell Daddy "Bye bye" at that point Davy ran to Kevin, threw his arms around his legs and started crying. Kevin brought him back to me and headed out the door with Davy still bawling. I tried a few things to calm him down, food, drink, TV. None of it worked, at this point Davy was laying on the ground and seemed to be bothered by the snot in his nose, so I got a nose sucker and cleaned it out which didn't help the crying. Cheerios didn't help, he would stop crying, eat a few and then begin crying again. He got happy when I opened his bedroom door, but only until he shut it and then he cried. Finally I decided, even though he had already had his nap for today that he obviously needed another, and the silence in the house tells me I was right. Which when it comes down to it is actually pretty good for me because it means I can get a nap too. 

Pink Pink

On Monday of this week we had our anatomy ultrasound and found out that we are having a girl. We did a gender reveal party afterward with a cake that was pink and had pink frosting inside. The frosting was bubble gum flavored. After having Davy I have gotten into the habit of always looking for boy things and ignoring the girl stuff. Now I have to look for both. I think it will be fun to have a little girl, but I am guessing that it will be much different than having a little boy. It will be interesting to see how it all goes.

Chatterbox

Every so often I run into or hear about people with children around the same age as Davy. Sometimes I see or hear about how well their children can talk. "Oh she says at least 50 words already" or, "He will tell me, I love you too when I say I love you to him. " or "He says all done when he is done eating." And then I think about my own little guy.

Every morning we are woken up to the sound of chattering, "Mamamamama Daboo dadoo dadoo dadadadadoo de da No bababababa, (giggle giggle) Yay!" Then comes the sound of him blowing raspberries after awhile and we know he is spitting on things. So far Davy knows a few words:
No
Yeah
Yay
Dada
Mama
Nana
Thank you
Uh oh
Go
Diego (Deego)

So that is what? 10 words total. So the other day I was talking about it with my sister and she looked it up. Turns out that for a 18 month old he is just fine. He has linked at least two words together, and says some words but chatters mostly with a few real words interspersed. Still there are quite a few words we would love him to learn, all done, milk, cracker, I love you, puppy. There are more but those would be nice so that we would know a little more about what he wants at different times.

On Monday I had my birthday, it was nice. We went shopping, watched a movie (Pride and Prejudice) and went over to my parent's house for dinner and cake. It was relaxing. We also got a super wide baby gate. We have very large openings in our home due to a super open floor plan (not exactly a fan of it myself). Anyway we don't really want Davy getting into the kitchen so we have been blocking him off from it with some large boxes that Kevin taped together. Well after discovering that there was a baby gate wide enough to reach from the wall to the cabinets and after Kevin nearly broke some of his toes a few times we finally decided to buy the baby gate. We installed it on my birthday (which I was actually rather excited about). The gate works perfectly and not only does it keep the baby where we want him, but the dogs have not yet tried jumping it as it looks far too tall for them in their estimation. This means we can section off the baby and dogs depending on how we want them to be sectioned. Feeding the baby and don't want the excuse of dogs to lead him to throw food on the ground, gate the dogs out of the kitchen, don't want the dogs in the kitchen when we leave the house, gate them out. Want the dogs to leave the toddler alone when we first get home, gate them in the kitchen. It works great!! Even though it is not one of my presents I still feel happy about it because it has been working so well. I think it will help to make some aspects of seminary easier as well. Yay for gates!

Hanging free!

In other adventures with Davy, today while at the doctor's office Kevin took Davy out to the waiting room bathroom to change his diaper, when I came out from meeting with the doctor Davy was running around the waiting room waving a diaper. Kevin grabbed it thinking that Davy somehow got to the dirty diaper he had just removed and thrown away. So he throws that diaper away. When we got home (after about four more hours of being out and about in Rockford) we discovered that it wasn't the dirty diaper, instead Davy had ripped the new diaper off his butt and had been commando the entire time. Now his clothes and car seat need a washing and the car needed to be scrubbed. Oh the joy of smart toddlers. 


As an update to this, we really don't know how he got it off, his romper was all snapped up, somehow he figured out how to take the diaper off around his clothes.

Butter Lover

Kevin watches Davy in the mornings while I work, we have a baby gate that sections off my office from the rest of the house so that I can keep the door open and not have little visitors show up and get into things. Just a few minutes ago Davy comes to the gate smacking his lips and licking off his fingers he is holding something that looks kind of like a medium rawhide bone, I know that Kevin has been pretty much asleep on the couch so I wonder what he is eating. As I ask Davy "What are you eating?" He holds up the bone-like object, as I walk over to claim it from him I realize it is a stick of butter. Kevin left out a box of butter sticks in the living room and Davy has been eating one. Well I guess that is one way to put some weight on him. I found at least two other sticks of butter as I walked around the living room and cleaned up after Kevin and Davy. I guess we know now whether he likes butter or not.

Watch out!

At the moment Davy is shaking his sippy cup full of water over my faux leather couch, I am having trouble finding the will to care right now because he is also happily babbling to himself and not screaming or crying. Both he and I have been having quite a day. As far as I can tell he has molars coming in and is rather cranky because of it. I gave him some painkiller when we got home from church and that seems to be making things better. My excuse...well I am pregnant and I started back on the progesterone shots today. I don't much like the pain of the shot, or the emotional wreck I become, but it is better than the dizziness of the pills. Today I have been very anti-social and have had a very short fuse. Thankfully, or maybe not so much for him, I have only blown up at Kevin today. Which means that I haven't ruined any relationships with people at church. And Kevin understands that pregnancy sometimes makes me a raging hormonal nightmare. He really is very understanding of all my moods and tempers. I really do applaud him for it. Anyway, together Davy and I are just a lovely little couple of crankybutts. Thankfully we can pretty much hole up at home and ignore the world. Davy is now spitting on the couch. I will probably go over in a bit and wipe it all off, but for now I will just enjoy the peace.