What is it about the world and waiting to have children? Today I go to get started on our taxes. We don't do them ourselves, we take them to H&R Block, because truthfully we don't trust ourselves to do them right on our own. So, I am going through the questions with the woman and she gets to the question of do we have any kids. I tell her, "No, but hopefully this year we will." She says, "Oh you have time, no need to rush." And I say, "Well we have been waiting for 10 years, we are pretty much ready."
It is not really her or the comment that bothered me, it is rather the fact that she is not the only one who has told me that I should wait. That I have time. That I don't need to hurry to get pregnant.
Why is it, that often when I mention to someone that I am planning on trying to get pregnant they seem to feel a need to dissuade me from the idea? There is a lady at work who I do not share any information with about the fact that I am trying to get pregnant. Because she will go on a rant about how I should not have kids, because she had kids and now she wishes she didn't because she is always worried about them. She says it in a half joking half serious manner, but I really have no patience for it anymore.
10 years, ten years in July that we will have waited to have children. 10 years of women at church making comments or questions about us not having kids. 10 years of watching other women with their children, wishing it was me. 10 years of standing up on Mother's day at church, because I am a woman over 18, but not wanting to because I am not a Mother. 10 years of feeling awkward on Mother's day anyway. 10 years of hearing other women go on and on about their kids, their plans for school and sports, and other extra curricular activities with their kids, and having nothing to say back, because I just can't relate. And then I think, that if only this, or if only that we might just have a kid that turned 9 or 8 or 7 this year. I might have a different life all together.
For those who don't want children, great for you, go live your life and leave me alone. But don't tell me I should wait. I have waited.
My religion is one that I love, I believe deeply in it and it shapes the way I live my life. However, it is a very family oriented society, people are encouraged to get married and have children. And living in my family doesn't make that any easier. We have been encouraged by both my family and Kevin's to get pregnant. Heck any time I got sick and talked to my mother and made mention of it she would ask if I was pregnant.
I am tired of waiting, I am tired of being childless any longer. And after the insane two months we have just waited to have the semen vials shipped I am so ready to get this done. I am done waiting, so leave me alone about it.
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