Consult at the Fertility Clinic

"You look perfect", she said
looking over charts
flipping through pages
of tests and documentation,
she speaks on of plans,
what he now needs to do,
checking counts and depending on
how many swimmers whether we go
one way or the other
and yet through all of the plans
all of the talk of samples,
shipping and semen,
all the considerations
of which proceedure would be worse
echoing through it all
is the word perfect
in the ears of a little girl
who thought she was broken.

Feeling odd

I am feeling odd tonight. I know I should be exercising right now so that I can get to bed by nine, but after reading a few things and thinking about a few things I find myself feeling odd. It is strange, I went to the doctor this morning about planning to get pregnant, and tonight I read for the second time today a poem by Viggo Mortensen about abortion. How very odd that on a day when I am so excited about bringing new life into the world I read about taking it out. I find myself thinking again that the less I know about celebrities the better off I am. The more I know about them and the things that they do the less I enjoy their work. This is one of the many reasons why I don't follow the lives of celebrities, the most important being that I don't view them as important people in my life, so why do I care what ways they screw up their life. I think I am also feeling odd because I have become frustrated with certain people lately, unfortunately, or maybe fortunately I am pretty non-confrontational so they will probably never know that what they are doing is driving me batty. Bad because they will continue to do what they do, but good because I will not be burning bridges and losing friends because I spoke up. Oh well.

Fertility Clinic

Had my first appointment with the fertility clinic today. It went really well, I met my doctor, a very sweet woman who sat me down and asked me a bunch of questions and got to know my story and learned about how Kevin and I have been trying for so long to have children. She really put it into perspective for me when after I told her how long we had been trying she said, "Wait, you have been trying to have children for almost 10 years?"

She gave me a game plan for the next little while, they are going to do more tests on me, check Kevin's semen again, check my tubes again(eek!), and with everything going smoothly we should be able to make our first attempt to get pregnant in December. I am excited about everything and hope that it all goes well.