Vial Shipment Request

These were humorous enough that I wanted to share them. Recently Kevin and I have been trying to get his vials of sperm shipped from Utah to Illinois, this is really the only thing keeping us from getting pregnant right now. One of the last things that they needed from us, which we got to them a few weeks ago, was a letter from Kevin stating that he wanted his vials of sperm shipped from Utah to the Fertility Clinic in IL. So he wrote three letters, one of them serious and the other two fairly off the wall. I am going to share them here:

Serious one:

To whom it may concern,

My name is Kevin (our last name). Per your request, I am writing this letter requesting that my vials of frozen semen be transferred from your location at:

(U of U Hospital Andrology Labs address)

Please ship them to this location:
(Fertility clinic’s address)

Thank you,
Kevin

1st silly one

To whom it may concern,

My name is Kevin (our last name). It is my understanding that you have in your possession my long lost frozen hopes for posterity. I have longed to be reunited with my beloved sperm popsicles. Many a tear-filled night has passed in the long years we have been apart. Please, I beg for your mercy! Please send them to live in freedom with me and my wife! Please bring an end to our mourning! We have already delivered the ransom that you specified, and plead with you to honor your side of the agreement.

Please forward said hostages and ship them from your location at:
(U of U Hospital Andrology Labs address)

And forward them to this location, where we will be joyfully reunited with them:
(Fertility clinic’s address)

Respectfully yours.
Kevin



2nd silly one

Dear Infidels,

Give me back my frozen sperm! Give them back or I will destroy you and everything that you love! Do not underestimate my powers!

It is my intent to liberate my faithful little crew of swimmers from this location:
(U of U Hospital Andrology Labs address)

And have them shipped to this location:
(Fertility clinic’s address)

Your cooperation will earn you your lives! Fail to heed my demands and you will know the full weight of my wrath and fury! Do not try my patience!!

Regards,
Kevin