Evangeline has Torticollis, which is basically a head tilt. We can't really tell how long she has had it because it is rather slight and because of this we didn't notice it right away. My mom was the one who noticed it first. After she suggested that we bring it up to the doctor we scheduled an appointment with him and he told us to take her to a physical therapist. The physical therapist got us set up with a group that will send physical therapists, developmental therapists, and occupational therapists to our house to do therapy with her. They came by yesterday and did an evaluation of Evangeline. They are going to work with her on her torticollis, as well as on crawling, standing, cruising, and walking. They are also going to work with her on helping her sleep through the night. Yay!!
Last Thursday I took Evangeline in for her 9 month check up, the doctor decided that there was a small chance like 1% chance that the torticollis might be caused from some neurological issue, so he ordered a MRI for her. We took her in for that today. She was put under for the MRI so we were a good bit concerned for her. But as we don't like to chance things (seeing that it was a 10% chance that Kevin would get cancer again when he got it the second time) we decided it was better to check than to leave things to chance. We got the results back already and everything came back completely normal. I feel much better about that. Now we know that we just have to do her neck exercises with her and everything will be ok. Stressful week, but everything has turned out good so far.
Showing posts with label Fears. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fears. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Friday, December 14, 2012
My heart breaks for them
Today I had a little break in the action of chasing around Davy and so I decided to check facebook and see what was going on. And that is how I learned of the tragic shooting that happened in CT today.
When I had Davy I suddenly discovered that I had obtained a new fear. A fear that something could happen to him and that he could die, especially at his young age, there are so many things that can so easily kill a child. It is scary, you spend the first few years of your child's life watching them so closely because you are terrified that something may happen that will take them out of your life. There have been nights, after Davy goes to sleep where I walk through our living room and see all his toys all over the place and I think, how sad it would be if he died and I had to clean up all the toys with the realization of just how irrelevant they had become. All the memories of him playing with this toy or that toy, his little face turning to smile up at me. And it strikes a deep and very resonant cord in me and usually makes me cry. Usually it is those nights that I have to go in and stare at him for awhile as he sleeps, remind myself that he is just fine and is peacefully sleeping and in the morning will wake happy and alive.
And so it is that fear that makes the shooting today so very real to me. The article I read said that 20 children were killed in this tragedy. And one of the comments made regarding the article mentioned that the families of those children will be going home to decorated houses with presents hidden in closets that no one would open. And it made me think of my thoughts on Davy's toys. Tonight I started to wrap presents. I brought out presents from where I had them hidden in my closet and started to get them ready to wrap. My heart just breaks for those families who lost their children. I can imagine the heartbreak, because I already have imagined it every day since Davy was born. I know little Evangeline is not yet here but I have already started my worry for her. Children are such a wonderful thing in life it makes a parent realize just what a void they would leave in your life if anything happened to them. My heart breaks for the families affected by today's tragedy.
When I had Davy I suddenly discovered that I had obtained a new fear. A fear that something could happen to him and that he could die, especially at his young age, there are so many things that can so easily kill a child. It is scary, you spend the first few years of your child's life watching them so closely because you are terrified that something may happen that will take them out of your life. There have been nights, after Davy goes to sleep where I walk through our living room and see all his toys all over the place and I think, how sad it would be if he died and I had to clean up all the toys with the realization of just how irrelevant they had become. All the memories of him playing with this toy or that toy, his little face turning to smile up at me. And it strikes a deep and very resonant cord in me and usually makes me cry. Usually it is those nights that I have to go in and stare at him for awhile as he sleeps, remind myself that he is just fine and is peacefully sleeping and in the morning will wake happy and alive.
And so it is that fear that makes the shooting today so very real to me. The article I read said that 20 children were killed in this tragedy. And one of the comments made regarding the article mentioned that the families of those children will be going home to decorated houses with presents hidden in closets that no one would open. And it made me think of my thoughts on Davy's toys. Tonight I started to wrap presents. I brought out presents from where I had them hidden in my closet and started to get them ready to wrap. My heart just breaks for those families who lost their children. I can imagine the heartbreak, because I already have imagined it every day since Davy was born. I know little Evangeline is not yet here but I have already started my worry for her. Children are such a wonderful thing in life it makes a parent realize just what a void they would leave in your life if anything happened to them. My heart breaks for the families affected by today's tragedy.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Wishes for Sons
Lucille Clifton wrote a poem called Wishes for Sons, when I was in college I remember reading it and loving it. It basically wishes them the hardships of being a woman.
Pregnancy is a strange thing, when I was pregnant with David I remember wanting a girl. As the oldest child in my family I liked being where I was in the birth order. I liked being a girl and I liked being the oldest. I liked the person it made me. And I wanted to have a daughter who had that too. I wanted a little girl as my first baby. In fact I wanted it so bad that I almost refused to believe the anatomy ultrasound that told us it was a little boy. I had convinced myself so well that I was having a girl that I really didn't want to believe that I actually was having a boy. And then he came.
As I wrote in my last post there is something amazing that happens when you have your children, a type of love that you just can't explain. And it doesn't hurt that Davy is an exceptionally sweet little boy. He is crazy and busy and wild and full of mood swings and life, but with all that comes a certain wonderful sweetness that I never expected. There are times where he will climb onto my lap and snuggle with me for a good long time. Different little things, little actions that he takes that shows me without a doubt that this little boy loves me and is a little sweetheart. And having a child like him makes me nervous about what is to come.
This pregnancy I am pregnant with a little girl. I had a feeling that I was from the very start, but having learned my lesson with Davy I didn't believe it until I had the ultrasound. And ironically I haven't been as excited about it all as I was expecting to be. I mean I wanted a girl, I really did. But there was a part of me that was ok with another boy, a part that actually really wanted another boy, because I knew what to expect. But there is still that part of me that is thrilled that I am having a girl. Someone I can bond with, someone I can become great friends with similar to how I am great friends with my mom. But there is also this huge fear in me that we will have a mother daughter relationship that is filled with arguments and anger. One of the young women in my ward told me that my daughter will hate me when she is a teenager. What a terrible proclamation on my mother daughter relationship before it has even begun. For the most part I have put the comment to the side knowing that it probably stems from the fact that this particular young woman does not get along very well with her own mother. I personally had a fantastic relationship with my mom when I was a teen. She was always a good friend of mine and still is. However, the comment has caused a good amount of fear in me, that my daughter and I may not get along.
When it really comes down to it though I learned a lot about parenting from my own parents. And one of the best things I learned was, no matter what your child does, no matter how irresponsible or stupid or aggravating it is, the most important thing you can do for them is to love them no matter what. There is a lot we can learn from Christ and his father, our Heavenly Father, they love us no matter what. They may not be particularly proud of the choices we make, but they love us still.
Life is a test, a test to see how we will do before we come back to God. And parenthood is a test to see how much we can model ourselves after God and the way he chooses to parent. I am so happy for all the children I have, sons, daughters, however many of either I end up having. And my wish for them, no matter who they are or what they do is that they will be able to feel the love I have for them and know how much I love them, no matter what.
Pregnancy is a strange thing, when I was pregnant with David I remember wanting a girl. As the oldest child in my family I liked being where I was in the birth order. I liked being a girl and I liked being the oldest. I liked the person it made me. And I wanted to have a daughter who had that too. I wanted a little girl as my first baby. In fact I wanted it so bad that I almost refused to believe the anatomy ultrasound that told us it was a little boy. I had convinced myself so well that I was having a girl that I really didn't want to believe that I actually was having a boy. And then he came.
As I wrote in my last post there is something amazing that happens when you have your children, a type of love that you just can't explain. And it doesn't hurt that Davy is an exceptionally sweet little boy. He is crazy and busy and wild and full of mood swings and life, but with all that comes a certain wonderful sweetness that I never expected. There are times where he will climb onto my lap and snuggle with me for a good long time. Different little things, little actions that he takes that shows me without a doubt that this little boy loves me and is a little sweetheart. And having a child like him makes me nervous about what is to come.
This pregnancy I am pregnant with a little girl. I had a feeling that I was from the very start, but having learned my lesson with Davy I didn't believe it until I had the ultrasound. And ironically I haven't been as excited about it all as I was expecting to be. I mean I wanted a girl, I really did. But there was a part of me that was ok with another boy, a part that actually really wanted another boy, because I knew what to expect. But there is still that part of me that is thrilled that I am having a girl. Someone I can bond with, someone I can become great friends with similar to how I am great friends with my mom. But there is also this huge fear in me that we will have a mother daughter relationship that is filled with arguments and anger. One of the young women in my ward told me that my daughter will hate me when she is a teenager. What a terrible proclamation on my mother daughter relationship before it has even begun. For the most part I have put the comment to the side knowing that it probably stems from the fact that this particular young woman does not get along very well with her own mother. I personally had a fantastic relationship with my mom when I was a teen. She was always a good friend of mine and still is. However, the comment has caused a good amount of fear in me, that my daughter and I may not get along.
When it really comes down to it though I learned a lot about parenting from my own parents. And one of the best things I learned was, no matter what your child does, no matter how irresponsible or stupid or aggravating it is, the most important thing you can do for them is to love them no matter what. There is a lot we can learn from Christ and his father, our Heavenly Father, they love us no matter what. They may not be particularly proud of the choices we make, but they love us still.
Life is a test, a test to see how we will do before we come back to God. And parenthood is a test to see how much we can model ourselves after God and the way he chooses to parent. I am so happy for all the children I have, sons, daughters, however many of either I end up having. And my wish for them, no matter who they are or what they do is that they will be able to feel the love I have for them and know how much I love them, no matter what.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Fire = Hot
Today Davy learned that the fire on the stove is hot. We were over visiting my parents tonight, planning on carving pumpkins. My mom was making soup and Davy was wandering around their kitchen being cute. I had been keeping an eye on him to make sure that if he got too close to the stove that I could yell at him to get away from it. Well, as accidents with kids seem to happen, Davy just walked up and stuck his hand in the fire. My mom was thankfully standing right there and pulled his hand out right away. We immediately filled a sink with cold water and ice cubes and let him play in it for about 15 minutes and then after a 5 minute break let him go back in and play another 15 minutes or so in the cold water again. He has little blisters on his fingers, and I gave him some children's Tylenol. He was a little fussy over his hands tonight, but otherwise played like normal and was his normal self. I ended up calling his doctor to make sure that I didn't need to bring him in, but after talking with the nurse about how it looked and how he was acting, she said he should be fine being treated at home and gave me some advice on how to take care of him. It broke my heart seeing him cry when he first got burned, but I am glad that he should be ok. And I am hoping that it taught him that we don't stick our hands into fire because fire is hot and can burn us. I just wish he had learned about fire without the need to get hurt.
On a lighter note, we bought Scout for Davy today. Kevin has been wanting to get him the "boy" dog since I brought Violet home from my parent's house. Finally we have him, there are some differences from Violet, as the Violet we have is an older version of the toy. But all in all, Scout is basically the same toy as Violet. I put them both on the couch to see which one Davy would go for, turns out he likes having both dogs with him. Maybe he feels like he is in the videos he watches and has both his friends to come play with him. I have them programmed so that Violet calls Davy "David" and Scout calls him "Davy". The only thing I have noticed so far is that Violet's paws are easier to push, and Scout's are more difficult. Oh well, maybe they will get easier over time.
On a lighter note, we bought Scout for Davy today. Kevin has been wanting to get him the "boy" dog since I brought Violet home from my parent's house. Finally we have him, there are some differences from Violet, as the Violet we have is an older version of the toy. But all in all, Scout is basically the same toy as Violet. I put them both on the couch to see which one Davy would go for, turns out he likes having both dogs with him. Maybe he feels like he is in the videos he watches and has both his friends to come play with him. I have them programmed so that Violet calls Davy "David" and Scout calls him "Davy". The only thing I have noticed so far is that Violet's paws are easier to push, and Scout's are more difficult. Oh well, maybe they will get easier over time.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Phobias
Before Davy I had lots of things I was scared of. Spiders, the dark, heights, monsters that hide in the dark, etc. Yes my imagination fed into a lot of those fears, but these were honestly things that scared me. Now that Davy is a part of my life my fears have changed drastically. I am still scared of spiders, but much less so than I was previously, we now have two large spiders that live on our garage door that I feed every time I find a stray bug to throw into their webs. I caught and released a jumping spider I found in our house and now find myself thinking about catching one and bringing it into my house to take care of our earwig problem. I find myself climbing up on things to do home improvement, the most recent of which was climbing on a chair to put letters up above Davy's closet, something I would have been fearful to do before. And I find myself in the middle of the night staggering through a dark house to get the baby and nurse him in the dark and then stagger back to my bed after he is done.
So what do I now fear? Well many of my fears have now changed. I fear that I may wake up one morning and find Davy dead in his crib from SIDS, I fear that he may get sick and die, I fear that he may choke on something and die, I fear that he may hurt himself and die. Do you see a pattern here?
Shortly after having Davy I went onto the Birth Board that I was part of (a forum board of women who were due during the same month that I was) I stumbled upon the baby picture thread and found in that thread a woman who had posted pictures of her twins who were stillborn. The pictures broke my heart, these little dead babies dressed up in beautiful clothes by their mourning parents. It made me fear for my own little one, scared that I could lose him, scared that one day I would wake up to a little dead baby. After so long of waiting for him, I don't know how I could take something like that. So I check on him every day and every night and make sure he is still alive and well. And I pray for him every night. I will be glad once he is past the SIDS risk.
So what do I now fear? Well many of my fears have now changed. I fear that I may wake up one morning and find Davy dead in his crib from SIDS, I fear that he may get sick and die, I fear that he may choke on something and die, I fear that he may hurt himself and die. Do you see a pattern here?
Shortly after having Davy I went onto the Birth Board that I was part of (a forum board of women who were due during the same month that I was) I stumbled upon the baby picture thread and found in that thread a woman who had posted pictures of her twins who were stillborn. The pictures broke my heart, these little dead babies dressed up in beautiful clothes by their mourning parents. It made me fear for my own little one, scared that I could lose him, scared that one day I would wake up to a little dead baby. After so long of waiting for him, I don't know how I could take something like that. So I check on him every day and every night and make sure he is still alive and well. And I pray for him every night. I will be glad once he is past the SIDS risk.
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