Still sick

This morning I brushed my teeth during my morning routine and when I began to spit my stomach went all the way. Early morning vomiting seems to effect me less than midday vomiting. I can shake off the shakes, and wipe away the tears, and go about my day. I still feel like I could use a nap though. Which doesn't help when I am tired. Which I am always tired.

I bought chicken fingers and onion rings last night, because they both sounded super tasty and I was hungry. Turns out I couldn't handle the smell of the onion rings. The chicken fingers I ate with nothing on them. Sometimes BBQ sauce is too much for me too, and Ranch dressing seems to have become my enemy.

I want ice cream, and I know I have some cherry vanilla at home waiting for me. The idea of a Wendy's frosty sounds very appealing as well. Other than that nothing sounds good. It seems to be a vicious cycle, I find myself having to eat, but nothing sounds good, so I eat very little of what I can handle, until I am at least a little full, hoping it will last longer than what it will, soon, too soon though my stomach is making sounds again and I find myself having to eat. Then throw in that everytime my stomach is empty it punishes me by making me nauseous. Makes sense right? Stomach empty so throw up whatever might be in there. No, you are right, it makes no sense what so ever.

But, no icecream for me. I have a beef tamalie waiting for me for lunch, that and a can of ginger ale. Can I make it that long though? The sour candies that I brought to keep my stomach calm say no. The crackers tell me they are not for me. I hate food, why does it always turn on me just when I thought I could trust it. I am not looking forward to the day when the tamalies turn on me. They have been a reliable lunch food, I don't know where I will go when they betray me.

It is odd, it is this week that things are supposed to get better, I am supposed to start feeling better, I should stop feeling sick and everything should be all happy. But no, things are getting worse instead. I seriously fear that I may have another six months of this.